i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just googled if crying burns calories
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
