He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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