I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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