just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
