You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Enjoy the penises
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
