i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
