I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
