Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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