There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
