Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
