At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He passed out mid-signature
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
