He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize