I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
