The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
