Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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