I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
