ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
