I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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