I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
