im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize