Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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