my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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