3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize