I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
