you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
