I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
