I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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