i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
