I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
