the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
