Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
