you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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