How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
