Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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