if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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