if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
