he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
