Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize