i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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