it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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