First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize