I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
