You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
