wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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