Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
