I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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