I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
