i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize