weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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