everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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