Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
We need to feng shui this bitch.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
