I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
