Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize