I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
