Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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