Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
