I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
