anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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