In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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