my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize