I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
