My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
