They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
