So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
