That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
