That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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