I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
