Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
