my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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