some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
