fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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