So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
